Sarahritchie17 Once a year, Coast Guard women in aviation get together for a one-day conference to network, share stories, and discuss initiatives. It leads into the Women in Aviation International (WAI) Conference where women in all fields and companies related to aviation have an opportunity to connect.
I have always believed that when you bring women together, powerful things happen, and this event reinforces that for me each year. I consider myself lucky to have a network that is so strong, empowering, and inspiring. Here are some of my takeaways from this year’s event.
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1. Get out of your comfort zone.
Rear Admiral June Ryan, U.S. Coast Guard retired, provided the keynote presentation this year with the theme “Embrace Your Power Inspire Your Future.” An engaging speaker, audience participation was not just encouraged or expected, it was required. Each person was given a packet, and the first activity involved writing down 3 things we were grateful for—one personal, one work-related, and one conference-related. Then we had to get up, find three people we’d never met, and share what we’d written. She asked about our observations after we’d sat back down, and we talked about how the energy had shifted. The room was filled with smiles and joy. It was not only the act of shifting our mindset to one of gratitude, but also the power of connection.
“When we are happy and grateful, it changes the energy in the room.”
Rear Admiral June Ryan, U.S. Coast Guard retired
2. Responsibility = response + ability
Another point Admiral made during the keynote was that the outcomes we experience are the result of how we respond to events. Event + Response = Outcome (E+R=O). When we decide to take full responsibility for the things that happen to us, we take command of our lives. Having the perspective that things are happening for you instead of happening to you is a powerful mental shift that puts the power back in your hands.
Responsibility is your ability to respond to events in your life. Will you take action or stay put or run away? If someone says something that you know isn’t true about you, do you respond in confidence or with self doubt? If someone were to tell you that you have green hair when you know your hair is brown, you’d probably brush it off. If someone were to tell you that you’re an idiot, could you have the same response?
3. Get rid of the A.N.T.s
Automatic Negative Thoughts… We all talk to ourselves. In fact, you probably talk to yourself more than anyone else. The things you tell yourself have a massive impact on your brain chemistry and the beliefs you have about yourself. Are your beliefs self-limiting? Consider how you can stomp out the ANTs or turn them around. Consider making a personal mantra to tell yourself when you have a negative thought. For example, “I am worthy,” “I am enough,” “No matter what you do or say to me, I am still inspiring others.” Can you take a negative thought like, “I am always late,” and change it to, “I was late today, but I still showed up and am now able to be fully present without distraction.”
“Ships don’t sink because of what surrounds them. They sink because they let too much of what surrounds them get on the inside.”
Unknown
“High achievers don’t listen to their minds, they talk to them,” said Admiral Ryan. You can choose to listen to the A.N.T.s, or you can talk more and listen less. “I am…” are the two most powerful words in the English language because what you fill in after is what your mind takes as a command.
4. Keep a success journal
A powerful tool in reminding yourself of your power is to keep a success journal. Admiral Ryan gave us a few minutes to get started on our own. Mine has things like graduated high school, graduated from the Academy, completed flight school and earned my wings of gold. She added that we could also put things like completed first grade, completed second grade, passed a difficult exam, ran a mile, etc. There are people that haven’t done those things, and at one point in our lives, we were celebrating those comparatively small victories too. If you review your success journal before you go into a presentation or challenging event, you will shift your brain chemistry and remind yourself how capable you are instead of worrying about what could go wrong.
5. Be an ask-hole
“No means next,” Admiral emphasized. When someone tells you no, you ask again or go and find the next person to ask. You have to ask for what you want. People tend to want to help you get there, but you need to have the courage to ask and keep asking. Sometimes opportunities that are not available to you today will be open tomorrow. According to a research study, 80% of sales are made between the fifth and twelfth calls (https://www.prosalesconnection.com/blog/follow-up-calls-with-prospects-salesperson-gone-too-far).
Have high intentions, but low attachment. In other words, want a lot, expect little. Don’t get bogged down when you get no for an answer. You cannot get if you do not ask.
She gave an example of arranging a speaking engagement at another conference. When the event organizers responded that they’d love to have her as a breakout session speaker, she responded that she would take the job but also could provide a separate, different keynote presentation if they needed one. They said thanks, but no thanks. She responded again that she was still interested in providing the keynote. They said both keynote positions were already filled. She responded, Thank you, I will be happy to provide a keynote for you if either becomes available. Days before the event, one of the keynote speakers dropped out, and the event organizers reached out to her to fill the slot.
6. Find the good in the situation you’re in
Ask yourself, “What’s the gift?” Find what you have to gain from the situation you’re in. We often learn more from bad leaders than good ones. We grow when we’re uncomfortable. There is something to gain from each challenge we face. Strive to be “inverse paranoid” and think, everything that happens is for my greater good.
“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.”
Colin Powell
Shift from “I have to…” to “I choose to…” Everything you do is a choice. You choose to eat, breathe, sleep, show up, etc. because you know the consequences of not doing those things. If you can look at things as your choice versus thinking of them as obligations, you start to see everything through a more positive lens.
7. No one’s career is perfect
No one has a perfect life. No one has all perfect days. No one has a flawless record. But you can act as if you do. Act as if…
- You didn’t fail
- You didn’t fall
- You didn’t go to the penalty box
- You didn’t get a negative mark
Instead of having a victim mentality, stay in the game and keep working towards what you want. Don’t let a mistake you made once take you out of the game.
8. Lead with empathy
A question posed to the Junior Leadership Panel was something like, “What is good leadership to you?”
They emphasized being empathetic. You may have never experienced the situation they are in, but you can listen, and you can connect them with someone in your network that has been through that thing. Listening is key.
When you have to deliver bad news, give the person on the receiving end time to process it. People process bad news in different ways, and having respect for that goes a long way. Maybe they need to step out and then meet again later when they have calmed down and can be more level-headed. Allow that opportunity.
9. Take time to disconnect
Burnout is a hot topic, and one we discussed in breakout sessions, in a presentation about Behavioral Health in Aviation, and with panelists. In today’s world, we are constantly reachable. That electronic brick that does too much is a ball and chain that we are always tied to. It’s a slippery slope when you take just one work text on your day off or check your work email on a Saturday from home. Greater accessibility has created great opportunities, but it’s also created a new challenge of enforcing work-life boundaries. No one is going to set those boundaries for you, so you have to set your own.
Get clarification on your boss’s expectations. Are you expected to be reachable 24/7? Are you expected to work on weekends? When you have that clear, you can set your personal boundaries to maintain your work-life balance and be able to step away.
We work so hard to maintain other things – Coast Guard aircraft and boats, our homes, our cars, etc. We need to get better at maintaining ourselves too.
CDR Sherry Gracey, PsyD, MSCP, a Clinical and Aeromedical Psychologist, provided a visual representation of the Performance and Well-Being Stool. It is a 4-legged stool composed of physical activity, engagement, nutrition, and sleep. Another analogy she gave was to address the “leaky faucet” before it floods the house.
10. Educate yourself on the opportunities available and take advantage
Every year there are new initiatives and great programs that become available to Coast Guard members. Just earlier this month, a message was released with updates to Reproductive Health Care policies including funded travel for non-covered reproductive health care services. The Female-Relevant Policies Resource Guide is a great resource for increasing understanding and knowledge of recent policy updates that impact female service-members.
Additionally, there are opportunities to advance your education and earn credentials and certificates through Tuition Assistance and CGCOOL. You can also transfer your G.I. Bill benefit to your dependents. These 3 benefits have service obligations tied to them, so it is prudent to take advantage while you still plan to continue serving and before you get too close to retirement.
Also, be sure to check your retirement accounts. Are you contributing to the Thrift Savings Plan (TSP)? Are you contributing at least 5% if you are enrolled in the Blended Retirement System (BRS) so that you’re taking advantage of the full government matching? What fund within TSP is your money going to? Make adjustments as necessary now, and your future self will thank you.
Book Recommendations
- How to Deal With Difficult People -Gill Hasson
- How to Win Friends and Influence People -Dale Carnegie
- Radical Candor -Kim Scott
- Literary Aviatrix Community – led by Liz Booker, USCG retired
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