Sarahritchie17 Do you ever have those weeks where it just feels like all the little things that have been secretly stressing you out in the back of your mind all suddenly boil up and erupt like a volcano? Like you’ve been filling your balloon with so much air and then it pops.
Just me? That’s fine too.
Anyways, this week was that kind of week. I was feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. Talking to my friends and family was just exhausting me even more instead of helping me process the stress.
I was feeling like I wasn’t enough, and I couldn’t keep up with everything going on. I’m training for the longest race I’ll have ever done. I just hosted 3 friends right after being at training in Virginia for two weeks. I’m studying to get qualified at my current job, soul-searching to figure out my next job, and trying to figure out how that next job may impact my relationship.
To be clear, there were no suicidal thoughts. Depression and suicide are serious mental illnesses, and I’ll never speak lightly of them. There’s a big difference between having overwhelming stress and having a mental health issue. This post is not meant to help someone through depression or suicidal thoughts. It is for those tough weeks when you’re broken down but still know that you can get up on your own with a few words of encouragement. If you’re in a darker place, don’t be afraid to admit it and get the help that you need. There are resources and people who are trained to help.
In this case, I felt like I wasn’t showing up for others as the best version of myself and that I had lost my balance.
That’s when I saw the bright red spine of the book Girl, Stop Apologizing on my bookshelf. And like bible study, I found the part that seemed most fitting and read it and internalized it.
Here are 5 quotes from that chapter that helped me through this week and reminded me that I could handle this.
1. “The problem is that most women I know don’t struggle to show up for others; they struggle to show up for themselves.”
This one struck a chord with me because I realized this week that I had taken too much on my plate. I had signed up to take on too many big things at once, and it had drained me.
Think of yourself as a glass. You fill your glass up with life, and there are two ways that you can share that life with others. Either you fill your glass until you overflow and pour into others. Or if your glass isn’t full, then you have to wobble and lean to pour out until you tip too far and shatter.
I was trying to pour out of a glass that wasn’t full. I had drained myself, and I couldn’t pour into others. I needed to give myself a break and show up for myself and my priorities.
2. “Work-life balance. Its description implies that those two things live in harmony, perfectly divided up on the scale of your life. My work and home life have never, ever been balanced evenly on any level.”
In this section, Hollis is talking about how she believes work-life balance is a harmful myth because it makes people compare themselves to an unachievable standard. Work and life will never be 50/50. There will always be competing priorities and seasons where you need to focus on one over the other. I needed this reminder this week because I was trying to give both my work and my life each my 100% effort—which obviously doesn’t work.
3. She goes on to say, “I don’t think the goal is ever to be balanced, ladies. I think the goal is to be centered. Centered means that you feel grounded and at peace with yourself. Centered means that you can’t be knocked off balance regardless of how chaotic things become. If I prioritize myself and make sure I’m centered, then everything else runs smoothly… even when it’s running at a hundred miles and hour!”
True. True.
4. “We’re all just doing out best, sis, and beating yourself up when you’re trying so hard isn’t going to help you do it better next time.”
Man, I wish there was a book like this for men! Seriously, take out the “sis” from this quote because I feel like it’s so real for the men in my life too. They’re just not allowed to talk about their feelings like that. It’s a double standard. More on that in another post…
5. “It’s possible to pursue something for yourself while simultaneously showing up well for the people you love… It’s possible to decide that you’re going to be centered in who you are and what matters most to you and let other people’s opinions fall away. Don’t buy into the hype or the pressure or the guilt that you’ve got to be one or the other. Maybe that’s true for other people, maybe that’s their opinion, but only you get to decide what’s true for you.”
Yes. Just yes. This is the quote I needed the most this week. Perhaps the reasons are too personal for me to share in this blog post, but a lot of my stress this week came from the pressure of other people’s opinions. The people closest to you are going to be honest with you and they’re going to say what they think and feel, and they’re going to give you advice that they feel you need. But that’s all it is. It’s what they think you need—which may or may not be what you actually need. And it’s okay to take that advice with a grain of salt. Even if they know you better than you know yourself sometimes and are trustworthy and always have your best interests in mind. It’s not that they’re wrong or you’re right. It’s just that what you need in that moment may not be exactly what they thought.
Goodness! I feel like this post was intense and went deep! I feel like this season is a period of intense growth for me, and with massive success seems to always come a decent amount of stress. It’s tough to open up and be vulnerable on the internet, but I hope that it can serve someone who needs it.
Please message @genuinesunshineblog on Instagram if you have anything on your mind that you’d like to see a post about. I’m here to share my personal growth experiences in an effort to support others who may be going through the same things.
And for the record, I’m doing a lot better now after a restful weekend. Today, I cleaned up the apartment, did laundry, ran 11 miles, wrote this blog post, and am going out with friends for Mardi Gras festivities tonight! The thing is that life doesn’t slow down, but you have to know when to give yourself a break and not have any fear of missing out. I’ll admit that yesterday I got up at 11 AM and proceeded to lay on the couch and watch Netflix for 4 hours before putting my contacts in and normal clothes on. Give yourself a break. The parades will still be rolling when you get back up.
If you like what you read here, follow @genuinesunshineblog on Instagram and look for new posts here at genuinesunshineblog.com every Sunday to start your week with sunshine!
Cheers!
Sarah
